夢裡，我借用edward的地方，晚上定期開小組。通常來的人不多，我也不急慢慢準備。這次去到，卻已有人到了，有新人也有之前來過的。我上完洗手間，再拿了可能用到的幾本小書和白紙鉛筆進活動室，大家已陸續進去。碩士同學david已坐在圍了半圈椅對著的一人椅分享位置，開始在說他的事。之後有第一次來的，站在後面開始分享，有一中年男同事跟她一起來，我請她先告訴大家如何稱呼她。她分享作為助人工作者工作的困難和感觸。然後是上次來過較拘謹的中老年夫婦，他們先牽著手跳舞，然後變成躺在草地上結伴野餐，全程都微笑看著對方，似乎進展很好。david仍坐在分享椅子。時間差不多，我先請這晚沒分享的朋友若有話說可簡短說，也是先說自己名字。然後再請有誰還有話想說的簡短說說，才完結。以往我跟著流程主持，大家圍半圈坐，讓想說的參加者，坐到分享座說，然後我逐一回應。這次不跟流程，卻自然地就進行得很流暢，大家都滿足感恩，結果很好，我想以後就照這樣自然進行吧。
2026/06/26
2026/06/25
夢 - 入門請益
夢裡，走進家附近後面的隱世小巷，再走進一地面層單位的大門，那是一個三層住家單位，每層地方不算大，都有個小廳和一兩間房。我走上二樓，找到老師，我知道他是畢華流，樣子卻像JT叔叔，偏瘦留鬚，衣著隨便，對人愛理不理，自顧自在忙，幾乎不出門，對各種奇怪事知識豐富研究深入，很有性格，像兩人的混合，是個怪人，但我當他是偶像。我本來只敢在附近裝作在看這看那做其他事。我在廳的圓枱翻他的書，當中有幾頁Kabbalah tree of life 的numerology 計算圖，圖裡寫了數字又畫了很多圈表示組合的計法筆記，看封面書是star signs。我偷偷拿出手機拍照，他看見了卻沒理，隨即想起我其實有這本書，還讀過至少兩三次，但還是繼續拍。他跟家人同住，有他的父母和兄弟的小孩，跟他年紀相若的的多年男好友也在。黃昏，我在三樓見他們家在準備開飯，打算離開以免打擾。下樓梯到二樓時又看見老師，便進房逗他說話問問題。他居然理我，還出手拉我的身體為我做治療，我當然趁機留下纏著他繼續請教。最終我忍不住告訴他，我們並非第一次見，第一次是中學時他來學校主講講座。我十多年前也有來過這小巷找他，所以我知道這裡。他微笑聽著又像沒用心聽，不置可否。時間晚了，他打算送我出去乘車回家，我心想不必，因為我就住在附近走路不到十分鐘的地方，其實很熟悉這邊的路。走到小巷街頭，他的家人坐在街坊小炒店吃飯，我看著滿桌豐富中式菜餚，他們叫我一起吃，我便不客氣高興地坐下和他們家一起吃飯。
2026/06/24
2026/06/23
夢 - 都是最好的安排
夢裡，我跟其他人在一起。在看台往下看，前老闆夫婦L和C在下面的表演平台，和一些人在逆時針一圈一圈走，隨播著的交響樂輕柔舞動。第二次，我們坐在平穩中型渡輪，旁邊是較小的遊艇。我看過去看下去，又見他們夫婦和一些人在逆時針一圈一圈邊像打太極般邊走邊動，這次他們穿著運動服，看上去比以前老了，笑著似乎很輕鬆開心，混在專業運動員裡一起繞圈走，另有一些人看上去跟他們夫婦樣子有點像，似乎是家人，都是中老年人。下船，我們這邊的同事有點羨慕他們的船較漂亮，我笑說別傻了，我們這邊的中渡輪較大較穩，比較不怕暈船。最後上岸的幾位女同事互相靠著，看上去還是有點累，但似乎不至暈船要吐。上到碼頭，旁邊船先上的已排了一條長龍，我們在他們的右邊，我跟著前面的人走，聽見工作人員說我們這邊是VIP隊，怪不得暢通無阻直向前走。想著漸落後，我又加快腳步，想著要不要跑，追上前面的人，以免以為這邊的人走完了，便截停這邊的通道。
醒來時，腦裡在重覆祈請文第一句開頭，突然發覺金剛總持就是 dor jay sang。六時半，想著要不要起來修一座法，還是又閉眼睡回去。
2026/06/22
夢 - 轉念
夢裡，我在公司的一間房間，翻看幾格文件夾，發現幾張給我但未兌現的支票。有五萬幾元退稅，另一張Citibank的二萬幾元，又有出版社的七千多元第一次收到的版稅，還有幾張，逐張依支票日期計，都已過六個月即已過期作廢。略計算總共大概十萬元，我後悔太忙忘了跟進去入票，要是入了就多十萬元在戶口了，又想除非逐間找發票機構重新出一張支票。這時又覺得奇怪，我平日收到支票都會盡快處理入票，怎會儲了這麼一叠過期支票。同事們出出入入商討工作，我回心一想，未找出來支票時，根本就忘了，不會覺得少了那十萬，而事實上，戶口裡多了十萬，不過是數字，在存款中也不見得真的明顯多了很多錢，不如把過期支票都碎掉銷毀，只留下第一次版稅的一張留念，索性其他都忘掉。回到跟同事們談工作，我便先放回所有過期支票到文件夾。這裡又有些貓要照顧，我在白紙上用鉛筆在相關地方寫下貓的名字，其中在近下寫上小冬，是一隻黑白貓。我又走出去，要去甚麼地方找甚麼的。
2026/06/21
冥想催眠日記 2026.5.27-6.2 Maitreya
2026.5.27 Wednesday
Pillar Love & Light Blessings meditation with Lindsley. Hot and sweating during the process (with air-con on). When the meditation begins, feel strongly Maitreya's presence, behind me. Then when teacher guides us through, the lotus, then with golden light in the lotus, then with violet light in the lotus, they are echoing my morning meditation merging Maitreya's bubble of love and compassion in lotus shape, with Buddha's bubble of peace emerging golden light, and Lady Portia's silver violet flame, that I am carrying with me and sending these mini mixed colour lotus bubble to beings who need them. I have not told anyone about this before! What a synchronicity!
2026.5.28 Thursday
as usual. 9 mins.
2026.5.29 Friday
as usual. 15 mins.
2026.5.30 Saturday
as usual. 15 mins.
2026.5.31 Sunday
as usual. 10 mins.
2026.6.1 Monday
as usual. 21 mins.
2026.6.2 Tuesday
as usual. 7 mins.
2026/06/20
Synchronicity – Path of Liberation 1&2
June 16: Angel card for the day was “Freedom”. Starting my journey of the path of liberation with Tergar that night.
June 17:
So many students, so crowded, so packed. Just so happened the seat on my right was vacant that I could get more space throughout the course.
Thinking whether to take refuge. Arrived more than half an hour early in the morning and hanging around the venue, and registered to take refuge.
Though being requested to go back to the venue at 5.15pm for the mandatory White Tara empowerment but arrived early at around 5pm, the hall was already full of students queuing up and I got to queue outside. Very long queue already. Not very organised seating arrangement, that some queue behind me got admitted to the hall and seated first. I breathed and told myself to have faith that everything happens for the best. I got seated at the first row after the VIP area right in the middle facing teacher even with space but not another row of chairs and people in front of me!
My questions lingering for quite some while got answered during the empowerment. We take refuge not for ourselves, but wanting to benefit all beings to have happiness and be free from sufferings. What I can do to serve and to contribute, are just the four activities 息增懷誅. So touching.
Took official and proper refuge. Apart from the vow, chanting and ritual, Rinpoche cut a bit of my hair, and I got the refuge certification with a Tibetan dharma name for me.
June 18: A whole day of heavy rain. Rainstorm signal red, black, red, black, but the whole day’s class went as usual and was total not affected.
June 19: Still not taught nine-fold breath and shaking Ha which are mentioned in the notes so I submitted a question on how to do these. Seems no one was aware that these were not taught, so later there was an announcement that they would be taught in the group practice session the next morning.
June 20:
Last day of the course. During the morning group practice session teaching taught nine-fold breath and shaking Ha, lama asked who did these the first time and most students raised their hands! Probably not only this time, but previous courses also missed these teachings!
IG fed me some posts of someone attended this course and I checked his profile. He is a young lama under Rinpoche. I messaged him on IG asking about the dharma name I got as I can’t read Tibetan. He kindly replied that night with a voice message demonstrating the pronunciation. Here’s his reply message:
Wow you got this name, this name I wrote and སངས་རྒྱས (Sangye): The Tibetan word for “Buddha”. It literally translates to “purified and fully expanded” (referring to the clearing of all mental obscurations and the full blossoming of all enlightened qualities). རྒྱལ་མོ (Gyalmo): Meaning “Queen” or “Victorious Lady.” If we translate directly this word then it will be Buddha Queen 
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